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I post photographs from my dad’s awesome garden from time to time. I took these yesterday; the peppers, tomatoes and greens are coming in quite nicely. 

Yes Photography. No Map.

In my previous essay On Race, Gender and Being A Professional Photographer, I wrote about my experiences when I created photography in a professional capacity as an artist and a business, and how that experience was shaped by my own personal experiences as a Black woman in an industry dominated by Whites and men and primarily White men, specifically. While many of my experiences were good, many were very very bad. This and realizing that while I love photography the art—passionately and forever—I did not want a photography business anymore nor was it my “dream job” to be a photographer (as I wrote about in Being A Photographer Isn’t My Dream Job…; I found myself moving away from the capitalistic notion that my photography could only be valuable if associated with a business) helped me realize it was time for a change. This time as a hobbyist unlike the first time, I have a wealth of experience and knowledge and skills that can help me make quite a pathway, a map, if you will, of future photography.

Except, I don’t want to. I don’t want a map. I don’t want a checklist. I don’t want to review images every three months to see if there is “progress.” I don’t want to “talk shop” as much as I used to about gear. I don’t want to photography “network.” I don’t want to do anything that makes it seem like my photography now as a hobbyist again is a corporate job or back to being a business per se (though I still do some small projects for people here and there). I don’t want to be in Photography Inc in social media space or my work.

This will perplex many photographers in this age of photography because all they know is photography as a corporate practice. That’s not the roadmap I want or need anymore. 

So then why bother?

Because photography is EVERYTHING. Making beauty out of the mundane. Making the beautiful mundane and relatable. Telling a story. Celebrating a culture. Capturing a moment in the street that was unexpected. Being there for the so called end of the world whether it ends in a bang or a whimper as T.S. Eliot wrote. Enjoying the art without any strings or demands. 

This isn’t to degrade the notion of professional photography or approaching photography as if it’s a degree program with more rigidity through organization. (I mean, I did write an eBook Photography Projects For Practice and Portfolios. I know all about how important a process is for a budding professional photographer or a seasoned pro. It is really important.) This is to say that for me, that road isn’t the one that I’m traveling anymore. And…well I feel relieved while I still respect many photography buddies where the aforementioned road is their desire. 

For me it is a yes for photography. It is a no for a map. Thus, what I photograph, why I photograph, and what I post here for 2014 will honestly depend on what’s going on in my life and/or what interests me at any given time. No more organized client shoots with 10 photographs from the session promptly posted with peer feedback desired. No more events where I have to make sure I create detail shots, food shots, wide angle scene shots, portraits and lifestyle ones. No more editing in a robotic fashion. It’s an open adventure where I proverbially pack a bag, have a camera and embrace a different journey where the journey itself is what matters to me, not where I go and how I get there. 

I feel…free.

Drift Sojourn

hellokaren asked: Hello! I love your work, especially how you find beauty in everyday things and capture them so well. I was wondering, (and this might sound like a silly question) do you carry your camera around with you every day in case you come across a new subject, or do you set aside time to explore a particular area that catches your interest? I'm asking because I have the worst luck with this. My timing seems to always be off, and I'm hoping to work out a better system for taking pictures. --Thank you!

Sorry that I am just seeing this message; I was on sort of a holiday break from photography except for Instagram.

As far as carrying a camera with me, iPhone is my camera for everyday. We’re in that age of photography where many photographers—whether existing pros, past pros or avid hobbyists—are carrying smartphones as their “everyday” camera. So no, I don’t always have a dSLR with me anymore. But for everyday drop of the hat imagemaking, my iPhone 5 does the job. Only for specific events or projects do I have my dSLR with me. Even when I photographed professionally in the past, I never carried my professional gear with me all of the time. 

I swear, having a modern smartphone with a good camera can work for your everyday, don’t know what cool thing will happen type of camera. Also look into some of the cameras that Fuji has made with the classic 35mm film body yet are digital and much smaller than a typical dSLR.

Hope this helps! Take care.

Beyoncé’s album is my everything music now. Photo editing. Writing essays. Thinking. Reminiscing. Feeling. Going for walks. Dancing. Love it. wrote about it on my womanist blog Gradient Lair and I am a fan.

I love the effect that I used on this photograph; Luigi Ghirri in the GG Zurli presets for Aperture 3. It has a bluish tone and fades without the more drastic fades of say the VSCO filters (though I like those too). 

Fresh bok choy from my dad’s garden. It was so delicious. OMG.

Being A Photographer Isn’t My Dream Job…

Yeah, there was a time when being a professional photographer of consumer photography with the business cards, logo, client phone book, email mailing list, newsletter, blog, portfolio site, booked shoots, customized invoices, client planning meetings, the actual photographic sessions, the tricky tax times and figuring out why so much work was turning into so little money was my dream job. I mean…having a small business is better than the cesspool of corporate America’s jobs, right? It’s leading yourself, making your own decisions, figuring things out and fitting into the small business bootstrappy ethic of American labor culture.

No, it’s not my dream anymore. I am not so sure it was my dream then. I just know that the average worst days of photography in a professional sense (which I wrote about in On Race, Gender and Being A Professional Photographer) were never as bad as the worst days during a decade of corporate America (some of which overlapped with my professional photography days). I know that I had nice photography buddies to talk with about the stressors and focus on the final work and delivering it to the client created the glint in the fogginess of uncertainty of dreams and jobs and dream jobs.

I don’t have a dream job. In a capitalistic culture, most people have just read that sentence and heard "I am a loser, I don’t ever dream about anything, I have never worked before in my life, I am lazy, I am not smart, I a have no goals." Even the idea of a dream job is stressful to me. Ultimately it’s supposed to be quasi-iconoclastic (nobody gets away with saying their dream job is to be an actuary) but still fit into the capitalist model of worth (where the person is still “producing” and can claim financial success and thereby social worthiness under capitalism).  

In elementary and middle school, I wanted to be a neurosurgeon. I blame the Funk & Wagnalls encyclopedias (I just dated myself) at home and cool images of the brain. In high school I did’t want to do that anymore but I knew I wanted to do something related to health. I blame having a family full of Jamaican nurses and health professionals. In college I changed my major a few times, including to Nursing, but ended up leaving with degrees in the behavioral sciences at the undergraduate and graduate level. And none of my corporate jobs were “dream jobs.” They were, “because…bills” jobs. 

This is where my childhood love and introduction into photography resurfaced into adulthood. The idea of having a separate business and doing work connected to the craft I love surfaced. Only upon years of experience with that did I realize that it is perfectly acceptable to LOVE this craft of photography—unapologetically and passionately—while not wanting it to be a full time business or even a profession. 

Capitalism is what makes people think a craft is not valuable unless attached to profit. This is why inexperienced photographers charging thousands for photography workshops when they are not well-versed in the craft and when they also cannot teach (two different skill sets) still are held at a higher regard than a hobbyist and definitely an amateur. Make something a business and watch it be attributed respect even without the work.

I know what I enjoy doing. Writing, especially media criticisms from a womanist perspective and contributing to public scholarship relevant to anti-oppression praxis (I do on Gradient Lair; writing is great, the trolling I get in response is not). Making photographs. Reading. Mentoring. That’s mostly it. And though for some people, these type of things have materialized into careers for them so that people can then think that they have value, for me, either making them into “work” has not been possible or has not been desired. 

Since I am back in a phase where full time photography isn’t my desire anymore and pursuing a Ph.D. is something I changed my mind about, it means finding a new job. This scares me since I have so many battle wounds from past non-photography jobs. Abuse and hell I’ve been through. Even so, I cannot think up some dream job that will make me happy. The closest thing was when a Twitter buddy @sophiaphotos mentioned teaching photography, formally (not pro workshops for peers) and that sounded somewhat nice. My Master’s isn’t a MFA though and those degrees and programs have their issues. Still though, for a second, it sounded like a cool career path and I’ve not felt a flicker of excitement about a job itself in a long time, though I feel it for so many things outside of jobs. 

I’ve stated what was my dream job and what it is not anymore as well as what I’ve studied and how none of my “traditional jobs” were dream jobs. So what is my dream job?

I don’t have one. 

Am I lazy now? Purposeless? A bad person? Did my photographs turn ugly? Do my words no longer matter? Am I ugly now? Am I unintelligent? Am I broken now? Anti-American? A loser?

No.

What I am is honest, experienced and mentally free even amidst the bondage that defining oneself solely by work in a capitalist society creates. 

Thoughts On Apple Featuring Nelson Mandela On Their Homepage

Apple honored Nelson Mandela’s passing on their homepage. On first sight this is wonderful that they decided to do this. Some companies have only sent their one obligatory tweet and moved on. Further, since their acquisition of The Beatles' music for iTunes, I don't recall seeing anyone on the site in such a way, with the exception of Steve Jobs himself when he passed away. 

Of course Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela; Madiba; Tata means so, so much to me, which I talked about on my blog Gradient Lair upon his passing, so I won’t rewrite this now as to not cry.

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But beyond the aesthetic level, Madiba’s image there makes me think. Apple has atrocious working conditions overseas. Now they are individually targeted for this in a way different from other companies because of their likable consumer culture, amazing product lines and net worth, but they are not the only company with this issue, of course; not in a capitalist society; not by a long shot. Wal*Mart is notorious for pitiful working conditions right here in America where a handful of the owning family members (the Waltons) have more money than almost half of Americans combined and they are among the top 10 richest people on the globe. Hundreds of American companies have cesspool working conditions overseas and plenty of discrimination in the States. Though poverty is relative to each location and economy, poverty is a global problem and people of colour are concentrated among the poorest.

I think about some of what Madiba said about poverty:

Massive poverty and obscene inequality are such terrible scourges of our times—times in which the world boasts breathtaking advances in science, technology, industry and wealth accumulation—that they have to rank alongside slavery and apartheid as social evils.

as well as:

Poverty is not natural. It is man-made and it can be overcome and eradicated by the actions of human beings. And overcoming poverty is not a gesture of charity. It is an act of justice. It is the protection of a fundamental human right, the right to dignity and a decent life. While poverty persists, there is no true freedom.

Though I am supposed to just think about how cool Apple and other tech products (and thousands of other products of a variety of types) are without even an ounce of thought beyond this superficiality—as this is the status quo for photographers in social media space; play colourblind, genderblind, classblind, cultureblind while using the correlated privileges as advantages in the industry—I cannot. I never could. 

Like many photographers, I have Apple hardware and software for my photography work and personal use. Like many people in America, I have technology that is made via the exploited labor of people abroad as I too am exploited for other facets of my identity (i.e. race, gender, class). This is why oppression cannot be thought about linearly (it is NOT linear) nor can perceptions of Western privilege alone be used to explain the space that Black people occupy in America. (I’ve elaborated on this in connection to Madiba.) As a photographer who’s a Black woman, I don’t really have the luxury to pretend that we’re ‘all the same’ if we’re holding a camera is true. 

As many people—including photographers—seek to rewrite the life of Madiba into something palatable (i.e. “peaceful” where this means “didn’t kick down the status quo and was always ‘humble’ to Whites”) for the status quo and White supremacy, I rather recognize my mixed feelings on this Apple tribute and my commitment to radical truth about his life, not reductionism. This tribute is by Apple is beautiful. It is. But beauty is also partially grounded in deception. It’s not coincidence that they chose his image with praying hands and smiling versus the many ones with his fist raised. 

(Again, though I like this tribute, I like a different one that I had less conflicting feelings about. Maya Angelou’s poetic tribute to Madiba. Perfect.)

Who says that a holiday dinner has to be turkey? One of my five sisters (my older one; I’m older than all of my other ones) prepared this spaghetti one day and it was not for Christmas per se, but has that aesthetic that makes me think it actually could work as a holiday season dinner.

Oh and it was soooo delicious. 

Food Photography and Classism

I read a great essay on one of my favorite blogs (The Feminist Griote) by my favorite person on Twitter, @FeministGriote, called The Humanity and Reality Behind #StrugglePlates. In this essay, she discussed the jokes made about some food photographs (admittedly usually not created by professional photographers; everyone uses Instagram/Twitter/Pinterest at every skill level of photography) and how they’re often called “Struggle Plates” (mostly within our [Black] culture, but others have used this phrasing on Twitter too) to dismiss what was prepared. She notes:

According, to social media users, food that does not picture well or doesn’t look “pretty” is somehow inherently “bad” food that doesn’t taste good. Furthermore, the people on social media also assert that food made with cheap products, is also flavorless food. Thus the perfect storm was brewing and out of that the hashtag #struggleplate was born. #Struggleplate describes food that is “ugly” and cheaply made. There is also an IG account called “cookingforbae” that collects pictures of “ugly” food for the sole purpose of trolling and judging the foods that people eat.

She also notes how the personal is political (a notion pioneered by Black feminists, regardless of what mainstream feminism claims) and food is inherently personal and political when families are struggling for it with millions on food stamps. Poverty has a racialized lens and experience (something I discussed on my womanist blog Gradient Lair, in a post Black In The 99%) so if foods prepared by people of colour are the ones receiving the most mocking, then there is more than just “bad photography” at stake here. She also notes:

I cringe because I feel that it is very disrespectful to pass judgement on what people eat.

Food provides comfort, nourishment, and sustenance all things needed for basic human survival. #StrugglePlates have a poverty porn and ethnocentric lens to then.

I completely understand where she is coming from because she mentions as a Haitian (I’m Jamaican myself) that some of her food might be perceived poorly because people think it doesn’t photograph well. Plenty of things I ate growing up with Jamaican parents was mocked by classmates, while now in adulthood, they swamp Jamaican restaurants because it’s “hip.”

I also think about this with another dimension, as a photographer. Though no more, I worked as a professional photographer for years. There’s literally no food that I cannot make look appetizing because that’s the primary purpose of food photography—in a consumer/commercial sense—to intrigue the viewer, to appetize, to make it look like art transcending just the purpose of physical consumption and nourishment. However, this does require skill and time that not everyone has, though to have that skill and time is not always a facet of class privilege, per se, though it can be. An example is a self taught photographer with one camera that they saved up for versus one with a MFA and an arsenal of endorsements from Nikon, Hasselblad, Manfrotto etc.

When I see two people in the same socioeconomic class with the same privilege (i.e. two Black people; working class, both able-bodied) mocking eachother’s food photographs in jest, I don’t have an issue with it. If one can cook and one cannot and one can photograph reasonably enough for Instagram and one cannot, I don’t think of it as the more “talented” person exuding privilege per se as it’s really not privilege but style in question. Also, there’s a lot of Black people who mock a lot of “Americanized” White recipes/images on Tumblr and what not and they often are not of the same socioeconomic class; the Black people often working class, the Whites middle class/wealthy. This is why so many people laughed at Martha Stewart’s photos because working class or middle class Black people are cooking great meals and photographing them well and it’s cultural food and it’s awesome. 

However, there is an element of classism since certain foods are automatically deemed more “attractive” (despite who photographs them) and “better” and more “important” and “gourmet” and what not. Further, since so many foods from people of colour are regularly subject to culinary imperialism—where Whites making and photographing our foods are automatically deemed superior to us—the elements of class and White privilege are factors. Without culinary imperialism, the Food Network would not exist.

Sometimes the shame of experiencing poverty is what makes some people (including poor people) only insult foods associated with poverty. This would explain some poor Black people that I know who only insult images of food that represent the cultures and palates of other poor Black people. 

For me, “struggle plates” has always meant sloppily plated food of any class or culture and then badly photographed. I understand that the term, especially with the word “struggle” in it readily relates to class and I will definitely take that into account before ever making food photography jokes again. 

@FeministGriote really brought some important issues to light, for even photographers to consider, not only feminists or the general public and I’m thankful for this essay, which you should read in its entirety.

My sister recently catered a 40th birthday party (her company is dAWN’s dELIGHTS) that had a purple theme and she prepared these awesome desserts.

  1. Sugar cookie. Can’t go wrong with the minimalist dessert. (She did ice them later with purple buttercream icing, but I wanted a photograph of them plain.)
  2. Macaroons with chocolate drizzle and buttercream icing.
  3. Cakepops!